On electronics and dancing with demons

February 12, 2017

First day of February marked coming back to Bali after 5 weeks on the road all over Indonesia. Best thing I could have done for myself and my mental health and my happiness in a long time.

 

The diving was awesome, so was the company, I had so much offline time and actually got a break, time to think about stuff, write so much, take so many photos, sit around and do nothing. It was awesome.

 

While on the road I read somewhere  about the top 5 things to pack for a desert island and made me think about my top favourite 5 things ever. That I would pack to a desert island or for anywhere else I think. Surprisingly enough, it made me realize how much electronics make my life happen everyday.

 

My Kindle:

Slow revolution for a voracious reader like me. It is never as good as the feel of paper in my hands, but it solved until forever the problem of book supplies. I read fast and a lot, usually go through at least 1-2 books per week, so impossible to find enough to read in Indonesia. Also it opened me up to some readings that I would not have done otherwise by offering free ebooks and sharing some.

 

My Mac:

Where I do everything and anything. Last year I replaced my old MacBook Pro with a MacBook Air that is faster than the wind, and I end up calling it My Precious not only because of its price but because it holds everything that matters: work, writing, photos, music, notes, research about anything. Its light and pretty and fast and it never crashes, I love the damn thing to bits.

 

My old Ipod classic:

I wish Apple would still make those because it will die eventually. It can hold all the music I could ever need. Its my giant music archive. Because who can live without music?

 

A Moleskine or Paperblanks notebook:

My two favourite brands. It goes nicely with a Staedtler pigment liner 0.4mm black pen (yes I am slightly picky when it comes to writing supplies). I take notes all the time, of a lot of stuff. This post started by me scribbling in a notebook. This is how I started writing what turned into a freaking book. I take notes on my phone all the time because its always with me, but ideas better happen on paper for me.

 

A hammock:

Because no one should live without one.

 

Out of 5 things, 3 are electronic devices. Totally embracing the 21st century, it seems.

My precioussss and his notebook friend

 

 

As you can see, this is totally not diving related even though I was on a dive trip. In the next post I will actually write about diving and these places I have seen.

 

Still not related, being away for a while and diving my ass off had even bigger impact on my general sanity than on my diving happiness. It's funny how this thing about getting older and wiser is actually true. This month away did me some good in so many ways that I cannot even begin to list all the things that happened to me while I was on the road travelling and diving. Taking control over things. Making decisions. Writing a LOT about a lot of things and feeling creativity oozing out of every single cell.

 

So as I am getting older and wiser, here is one thing that I found out : you can dance with your demons.

Younger, I had these things that I would fight for whatever reason (bad or toxic or destructive habits, relationship patterns, behavior patterns, whatever thing that I can picture with a demon face) and would use so much energy in trying to kill them off or starve them. Trying to keep the demons at bay. Feeling like if I could lock them in a dark box they would shut the fuck up and never come back. Except that the demons always do, that's why they are what they are (and if you have no idea what I am going on about, I guess you are lucky).

 

But if you stare at the demons in the eye, if you dance with them long enough, then you can tame them. Or just accept them for what they are, because you can look at their ugly mug and think "Here you go, you piece of crap. I know you are trying to lure me into this pattern/habit again, but look at how I just ignore your presence and keep doing what I am doing right to your face, you stupid asshole".

 

Now, instead of trying to lock them away, I am learning to dance with my demons. 

 

 Recognize him? His name is "JustOneMoreBaby"

 

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